It’s been a long while since I wrote something here.

Why?

Because covid happened.  And then an illness that had nothing to do with covid - still haven’t had it/knock on wood - but an illness that almost erased me from the face of the Earth.  Three months in hospital tells you how serious it was; they don’t do that for nothing.

        But enough of that.  Back to France, my Other Country, which I’ve missed horribly.

Eating lunch today, solo, I had time to think.  And my thoughts ran to how things are different at the table between France and the States.

For instance, you’re supposed to finish up the cheese, the bread and the wine at the same time.  That may not sound difficult, but just try it.  You end up either getting very good at it, or eating far more than you’d intended.  It took me years, but I’m very good at it now.  I wonder if my children, born and raised there, find it anything but natural.

And then, in the States, when eating with knife and fork, you cut your meat (or whatever), put your knife down, switch your fork to your other hand (depending on whether you’re right- or left-handed) and eat what you’ve cut.  Then you start all over again.  In Frace, that’s ludicrous.  You don’t change hands with your fork.  But you do eat very gingerly.  And hold your fork and knife in a manner pleasing to the eye.

And then there are the glasses.  Of course, that also exists in fancy American restaurants as well.  There’s the water glass, the red wine glass, the white wine glass, and perhaps Another Glass.  Of course, if you’re a poor student, you’re lucky if you have ONE glass.  Sometimes it’s got a fun image of Astérix le Gaulois, or Boule et Bill, or Gaston la Gaffe on it because it once held French mustard and you’ve recycled it because you can’t afford extravagances like real actual glasses.

        Not to mention cheese.  France has almost 300 types of cheese.  In all shapes and sizes.  General de Gaulle himself - hero of World War II and President of France - once said, “How can anyone govern a country with 246 varieties of cheese?”  So knowing how to cut the various shapes correctly to put a piece on your plate really weeds the men from the boys.

These are only four of the pitfalls of sitting down at a French table.

That being said, French food is so good that you really shouldn’t care.  And the French are too polite to tell you you’re a slob anyway, so...

So go to France.  Have a meal with friends.  Enjoy it all.  You’ll never regret it.